Whatcha-Whatcha Whatcha Want?!

Got any idea what you want for your life? Or what you want in your life? Or from it?

Well, although it would be more convenient for the present discussion if you said, "No... I don't know what I want at all...", the fact is nearly everyone has at least an inkling. It's the urge that calls to us from the corners of our thoughts and feelings. It's the intangible drive that pushes us toward some things and away from others. Our secret, or at least unspoken, desires influence our decisions every step of the way through every interaction of every day, and often without our ever knowing it.

And that's the sticking point, isn't it? Most of us are all too regularly motivated by subsurface wishes that remain hidden from us, even as they alter the course of our lives.

Think that can't happen to you? Well, just take a moment to remember all the times you've given in to one of your favorite foods or vices, even after you were making a sincere effort to resist. That's the power of "less-conscious" wants in our lives.

My point here is not to make you feel guilty or powerless. We are all motivated by "unseen hands". Our power lies in rending the veil. Like the pivotal moment in The Wizard of Oz, we must tear away the shroud of "the man behind the curtain" and expose his mechanizations for what they are in order to be free.

So what's behind your own curtains? Whatchu got in there?! What are your secret desires? What do you want?

The flip side of this discussion is, of course, that the best way to get what you want in your life is to know that you want it – to claim it, to celebrate it, and to move toward it with conviction. The more time you spend discovering your self and your self's agenda, the more power you bring to both, the more crystalline your identity will be, and the more realized you will become. When given proper attention and focus, the things we want in life transform from a list of hopeful ideas into the resonant creation of the life they represent. And although it contradicts modern "conventional wisdom" – if we give power to the things we want, and know that we can bring them into fruition by virtue of our intention, attention, and extension of effort, then rather than a bane to poison our happiness, our wants simply become signs of what lies in store for us.

And that's the moral of this particular story. The universe is a generous, abundant place, containing and offering all that we might ever need or desire. It has always provided for us, filling our bodies with energy, replacing our atoms with care and compassion, adjusting it's every move to assist us. Simply by virtue of our wanting something, the universe responds and conspires with us to make it manifest. It has been doing this since the beginning of time, and continues moment by moment everyday, working with us to create.

May I encourage you to pull out your master list of secret desires, clear out the attic of your wishes, and make a claim for all that you want for, in, and from your life. Write it down, make it into a song, draw a picture, or carve a sculpture – but make it plain and tangible. Let the edifice remind you of the thing you're manifesting, and empower you to move yourself in collusion with the universe to create the life of which you dream. It's yours – but only if you want it.

Ω

Be well, my fellow future-makers.

A Global Gift

Hello World. I have some exciting news and gratitudes I'd like to share with you today. First I want to say thanks to Ashoka who created Activating Empathy which held a contest we entered last year with our company Feeleez.

Yesterday, Ashoka hosted a live web event with panelists, including Natalie and I, discussing our work in teaching and promoting empathy. I very much appreciated the opportunity to speak about what we do with Feeleez in particular as well as with our other endeavors to support and empathize with parents (i.e. this blog, parent mentoring, etc..), but I also enjoyed getting to listen to other's thoughts, ideas, and questions about additional ways to increase the global EQ, and teach empathy.

One thing I was also grateful for was the burst of inspiration and positivity that Natalie and I felt from being involved with the discussion. We weren't even finished with the video panel before Natalie had scrawled a little note to me with the finishing touch to an idea we'd been batting around for 5 or so years.

I'm extremely pleased to present The Empathy Hotline 1.1. This is going to be an international community for the sole purpose of receiving and giving empathy. No sales pitches. No products. Just people coming together to share empathy with each other, both in times of triumph and times of upset or at any point between. 24 hours a day, any- and everywhere in the world, we'd like people to be able to join the group, post, and receive an empathetic response within the hour.

The rules are described on the About page of the group and are also currently pinned to the top of the group's post reel; but essentially the idea is that someone posts, and someone(s) else just offer them empathy in response. Empathy and empathy only. No advice, no opposing perspectives, no trying to fix it, no jokes, no distractions.

Here's the part that I'm most excited about: We'd like to invite you to get involved. No matter where in the world you are, we could use your help spreading the word about the group and, of course, posting!

Interested? Then here's what to do:

1. Go to the group page on Facebook --  here.
   
2. Share it on your timelines, google+ it, email the url to friends, and/or add people you know who would like to be involved. Remember, we want this to be a global service.
3. Post when you want to, and respond to others often.
4. Contact me via a comment here if you have an idea for a different platform we can use for free that will allow:
   1. Easy access and set-up of a profile for users with the ability to create an alias as well
   2. Original posters to choose when they post whether to post as themselves or their aliases
   3. Admin capabilities -- to remove inappropriate posts (whether they are ads or non-empathetic, etc.), or block rouge users if necessary, create sub-groups, etc.
   4. Sub-categories to form within the larger group -- e.g. Parents, Teachers, Bereavement, Russia etc.
   5. Users to control the scope of their involvement by timezone, country, religion, and/or sub-group(s)

Thank you friends and global neighbors. I sincerely appreciate any help you might be in this endeavor -- even it's just sending us your good thoughts.

I do hope you'll join us in the group!

∞

Be well.

Corollaries

In the last post, I started explaining the concept of Blind Faithº -- the bedrock belief that everything everything is working out for our highest possible good(s).

And though I think I gave a pretty good answer to this question already, I can still imagine someone wondering: "WHY?"

Because I have other plans for this post, I don't want to spend much more time on this at present, but I will give the following three assertions in response:

• First, I happen to believe, as I mentioned already, that we all live and die, perceive and ignore, experience and avoid the entire world of life based almost solely on what we believe about it. The perspective we hold on life is the essence of what we live and experience.
• I also happen to believe that we are all connected -- that is, absolutely and utterly interlaced and continuous -- All is One, as they say. From our mingling atoms, to the energy connecting us and the empathy we share with everyone, we are as indivisible from stars as we are from each other. That is, we are all vital parts of the same thing.
• Finally, I also believe that the whole thing of which we are all parts cannot, truly speaking, ever do itself harm. There is no source of suffering in the universe, there is only a source of benevolent abundance, and our willingness to allow it in our lives or not.

I can't say for certain if these beliefs are antecedents or offspring of my Blind Faith in the process of existence. On the one hand, they feed into and make possible this bedrock reliance on our safe growth and development. Knowing that belief creates experience, knowing that my belief and experience have told me that everything is part of the same thing, and knowing that there's no reason to believe that the universe would need or want or even be able to harm itself -- does, in fact, make it easier to believe that everything is working out for all of our highest possible good(s). On the other hand, Blind Faith is all that underpins that knowing. I just believe those assertions to be true. And further, it is my trust in the continual evolving of our potentials in particular that guides me to believe the above assertions to be true.

It's rather like a hot air balloon. You wouldn't say that it's the air alone, or the heat alone, or the silk alone, or the stitching alone, or the tie-lines alone that make it fly. They all have to be there working together. The air is held by the  stitched silk, the silk balloon is held to the frame for the flame and the basket for the pilot by the tie lines -- the flame heats the air up so that it swells in the balloon, which lifts against the tie-lines, which pulls the rigging upward with the balloon, which means the flame stays with the balloon and heats the air, etc. etc.. Who can tell which one comes first or is the most important when you're soaring through the sky?

Put all together, my philosophical hot air balloon works something like this: 

I hold that the overriding principle in all of my experience of life is that everything is infinitely interwoven, part of the same universal thing; and that this entirety is benevolent to itself, and has orchestrated all of its parts so that everything is working together for the furtherest possible development of everything that is, toward our highest and most evolved well-being; and when we allow ourselves to hold that belief long enough to habitualize it into our default perspective, then we perceive nothing but the continual joyful unfolding of our potential.

The bottom line for the moment is -- it's worthwhile to hold the perspective "that everything always works out for me", in part, just because it conditions us to see that happening in our lives. The more often we remind ourselves that it's all going perfectly, the more regularly we will experience just that. The more consistently we consider our experiences to be good for us, the more good experiences we get to have!

In terms of action, you might be asking, "Once I get my Blind Faith up and running -- what do I do?" How do you turn Blind Faith into the job you want, or the relationship you want, or the lifestyle you want? And I would certainly be remiss if I left you, as I unfortunately did my friend (in the conversation I described in the previous post) without any further explanation.

Here's some actions that happen for me while I am living the life of Blind Faith: 

• For starters and foremost-ers -- I give a lot of gratitude. I'm giving thanks for the many blessings of life every single day. When something goes "wrong", I give thanks for the right. When something goes "worse", I appreciate that it's as good as it is. Even when I am at my lowest, I am giving thanks for what I must be gathering from it. That energy of being thankful for what is unfolding is both the means and the end of living a fulfilled life.
• Another thing I do a lot is look for the good that is coming. I look for proof of the good that's already in my life. I make note of the ease I am having. I count my blessings. I expect that the asshole who cut me off in traffic, made me miss the exit off the freeway, and made me too late for my important appointment has actually done me a favor, and as soon as I come to my senses I will realize what that is. I know it's all working out, so I am anticipating how that will occur, and I am ready when the moment comes to jump -- which usually means I make all of the appointments I am supposed to make with no trouble at all.
• In addition to looking for the proof that life is working out well for me (and thereby self-justifying my faith), I am also on the lookout for how well life is working for other people. I'm giving thanks for other people's successes and achievements and wisdom and abundance. I'm counting the blessings I see in other's lives as we meet in passing. I've even been thankful for the jokey signs of certain panhandlers...
• Another practice in which I regularly engage is relaxing. I take a pause from all activity, and just breathe deeply and fully. Even if it is just mere moments at a time, I get clear and centered and light, and I lean into the extremely calming notion that everything everything is working out perfectly for me. It's an excellent respite from thinking and doing stuff all the time, but much more importantly, this is an vital practice because it is re-programming my subconscious. This is a simple but effective form of self-hypnosis -- little daily increments of getting the largest, most powerful part of my brain on board with remembering and helping me act as if everything is proceeding as it should (which, of course, is how I want me to act!).
•  I also practice having fun. I grew up thinking everything had to be for some purpose. "You have to be doing something meaningful with your time or you're wasting it." Even something as simple and personal as making art had to have some higher purpose. I have since come to realize that the only real purpose -- for anything and everything -- is because it feels good and right. We may not be able to make laws or run a society based on it, but every person as the master and law of him/herself must abide by it or perish. We must and can only do what feels good and right to each of us. Having fun feels good for me, and more importantly, it's proving my faith to the everything. Again, it is both the means and the end in itself.
• Another vital practice is nurturing the inevitable manifestations of the life I want and the good coming to me. I make room for the things I am welcoming. I make preparations for the fruition of my plans. I look for the things I am being offered to do in order to allow what I want to come. I act in order to express my belief -- I pick up my shovel so that my faith can move the mountain.

When we act, it is important to remember that we have to have our minds ahead of us, or no matter what action(s) we take we will be putting the cart before the horse. As Buddha supposedly said (and someone wrote down in the Dharmapada), "with our thoughts we make the world" -- our hands just move it around. When our minds are working with us, expecting good things, looking for more things for which to be grateful, receiving the experience of life in faith that all is and will be well -- then even the smallest action has the weight of an epic triumph. Or as Jesus reportedly pointed out -- the "faith alone" is enough to move the mountain, if you have that, then all you have to do is "tell the mountain to throw itself in the sea and it will be done" (Matthew 21:21).

So get out there. Be full of Blind Faith. And enjoy yourself -- it's all going to be just lovely.

∞

Be well.

º the unshakeable definition of all things, circumstances, and events as positive agents in our becoming.

The First Concept

The other day, I was talking with a friend, who'd also previously been a coaching client of mine, and he was remarking on how I seemed like I had a lot of great things going on in my life -- great family life, work that I found meaningful, and a plethora of fun projects, etc. -- without seeming to ever "just lose it" with so much going on. He then asked me something to the effect of: "What's your secret?" And I quite literally found myself giving an answer I had never before given to such a question. I think at various points in my life, I would have said, "I don't know..." or "I'm very fortunate..." or perhaps launched into a description of the steps in my approach, and some appreciation of the amazing help I have at every turn. And to be sure, much of that is all very true. 

What I found myself saying to my friend, however, was simply: "Blind Faith!"

He leaned across the table toward me and repeated from under his raised eyebrows: "blind faith?". And I sat back a little, somewhat surprised to hear the words we were both saying, then nodded my head (as if simply in agreement with his assertion), and said: "Yep," laughed and then, "Some secret, hunh?"

He couldn't believe either the flippancy of my response (I'm sure he'd been expecting some sage answer, practiced to the point of dissertation), or the lack of any detailed elaboration. I told him, in a fairly vain attempt to console him with earnestly animated, if airy, discourse that I believed everyone proceeds based almost solely on the beliefs they have about life -- ergo we all live by virtue of the faith we have in those beliefs. And I think I made that point perhaps too clear (as it was my only follow-up at the time...) with all the remaining time that we spent on the subject. And truth be told, I feel fine with that, as I believe it was enough for both of us at the moment -- for me to get to simply claim the whimsical, magical truth of myself in the presence of someone I respect without presenting it in a more "traditionally acceptable" guise; and for him to hear this basic, easy gospel, without the philosophical elaborations or logical justifications that he would expect in such a situation or would wish to explore with his own stellar analytical skills.

It was a message delivered by means of the form of the message itself -- a form poem.

Nevertheless, I have realized in the days following that I have a personal philosophy. "Just now realizing he has a personal philosophy?!" you may be saying -- and yes, of course, I have had philosophics of my own before -- but they were almost always various versions of "the philosophy of juggling concepts". I remained open to everything. I borrowed from everything. I owned nothing. And now I have claimed something that I now realize is what I have always always in my heart of hearts been most about. I've graduated. From my own school.

I've also realized, I have a lot more to say about Blind Faith.

I partly-wish I'd had the faculty at the time to tell my friend: "This is just the bedrock, the basic bottom line, the most reduced answer I can give you (just so that we can fit it into the scope of a single conversation...)". I wish I'd left him with the understanding that my faith that everything will work out is just the beginning. So I've decided that I'll share a bit of what I'll tell him next time with you for the moment.

To begin with, let's get the main point straight -- I call it Blind Faith, not because I am a fool for it (though I gladly would be, I think), but sincerely because it is the kind of faith that can lead me even in the darkest of moments, the eyes-closed-leap-into-the-abyss kind of moments, the please-help-me-so-I-don't-go-down kind of moments. At it's most basic element, it is simply the following in which I have this particular level of belief: That no matter what -- no matter what comes, no matter what goes, no matter what befalls, no matter what is revealed -- every single thing that happens to any one of us is for our own and everyone else's highest possible good. Period. Whether it's war or famine or murder or job-loss or partnership-dissolving or failure or degradation or the opposite of all of these things in any one moment -- it is all working toward harmony, not entropy as poor Steven Hawking is mis-convinced. Things do fall, and they do break, and then they become something new -- Things do not simply Fall Apart.

So this first, most important piece, is simply to hold (with eyes shut if necessary) onto the firm rock of believing that I am absolutely taken care of -- both in life and when I pass through death. Nothing can ultimately hurt me, and nothing is out to cause me harm in this life. And as my friends at Abraham-Hicks say, "There is only a source of Well-Being, which you are allowing, or not." -- there is no source of suffering there is just either our allowance of disallowance of our own joy. And no matter what we are experiencing, there is joy to be had there too!

And this faith, this peace, is simple enough that I can reach for it at any moment. When I am upset, I sigh and remember -- everything is working out. When I am frustrated or angry, I huff and remember -- even this is is working out for me perfectly. When I am nervous, I remember. When I am utterly lost, I remember. And moment to moment, the remembering becomes belief, the belief slowly grows into knowing, and knowing into experiencing. And when I experience the fruition(s) of my belief -- I save and compost its essence to nurture my faith further with the proof and evidence of itself.

Over time, and somewhat without my perceiving it, I have grown a perspective on the world. And as the only point I made to my friend indicated, I know that what we believe about the world and of our lives written through it, is the truth of our experience. The truth is not that "seeing is believing", but rather that the believing constitutes the seeing. Everything we know about life defines the extent of what we will end up perceiving of it.

We are not discoverers of great truths -- we are the forgers of them. We can be, do, and have whatever we can imagine, so long as we know it to be our truth.

We don't need a system of levers and gears and highways and machinery to move mountains -- we don't even need a strategy or plan. As Jesus (you know the one) is reported to have said: "If you had but faith alone you could move mountains".  I would add further that if we have faith enough, then we will see clearly that the mountain was never in the way at all.

I think I'll leave that note to resound a bit before I continue. More to come on the effects of Blind Faith on action. Until then...

∞

Be well.

*

All Purpose Permission Slip

Here it is, folks. You asked for it, and now I am happy to be the messenger of your very own printable permission slip(s). Click on the image and print it off as often as you need in order to give yourself permission to do what feels good to you. You don't need to have a good reason to use it, you don't have to save it up, you don't even need permission – you can just give it to yourself!

I've also been given the authority to inform you that, today, you have universal permission to be nice to yourself. Call it a holiday. How about: "I F*ing DESERVE IT Day"? It's a special holiday, and like Easter, it moves around a lot – often, even showing up more than once in a calendar year. And like today, it demands to be celebrated. You've got no choice, really – you see, you F*ing Deserve IT.

So spend today being nice to yourself. Don't hesitate. Don't resist. Don't bother trying to weasel out of it. It's a holiday, so don't be a humbug, just enjoy yourself. In whatever grand or private manner suits you best, give yourself a little extra today, and be glad for your youness. You're worth your own gratitude and appreciation – maybe even worth an honest to goodness celebration – so don't hold back.

Go ahead... Have a delicious day. Happy I F*ing Deserve It Day!

And yes, if you need to, you can print out a permission slip for you to be able to celebrate the holiday today. You don't have to get your parents to sign it, though, you have permission to do that, too!

Ω

Be well.

Rediscovering... YOU

In the last post, I discussed the idea that we often are the ones holding us back from being our most magnificent selves. We do this in many different ways, depending largely on methods we were taught to use by our parents, caregivers, siblings, and early friends. We have loop reels of negative self-talk rolling in  our heads most of the time, we tend to doubt ourselves regularly, we self-deprecate to our friends, and underestimate our prowess to any audience who'll listen. But one of the more subtle techniques we frequently use to disempower ourselves or keep us stuck is our own self-awareness.

Now, I know – you're thinking, "Damn. I thought 'knowing myself' was supposed to be a good thing!" And generally speaking, I'd say you are more right than not right about that. Exploring yourself, and discovering the you that you carry with you (often too closely to sense) is a necessary project for almost all humans. Otherwise, we spend too much time bumbling around and being dissatisfied and blaming it all on forces outside us. 

However, there is a difference, between knowing yourself and canonizing yourself. To know yourself is to look within, and explore who you are, and how you work, and to be present in your own processes. To canonize yourself is to make a claim (based on "knowing" or not) for how you always already are. To know yourself is to take note of your movements in relationship to the events of your life. To canonize yourself is to write in stone how you will respond in every foreseeable situation, and to manipulate the events of your life to confirm and conform to a static version of yourself.

Knowing yourself has some real advantages, but almost all of them are lost if you only use that knowledge to limit yourself.

You might be holding yourself back with how well you "know" yourself if you're saying any of the following:

•  "I always... [get sick, get taken advantage of, etc.]"
•  "I never... [win, get to do what I want, etc.] "
•  "I'm just a... [neat freak, addictive personality, etc.]"
•  "I can't..."
•  "I don't..."
•  "I won't..."
•  Or any other "universal truth" about how you are and always will be, or about the way life works for you.

You in a nut shell...

But, lucky you – today you have brought yourself a brand new opportunity to reacquaint yourself with yourself. That's right folks, today, you can give yourself a get-out-of-self-free card any time you feel the desire to look at yourself from a fresh perspective. Today, you have been given full license to rediscover yourself – forget your biases, make no assumptions, and take nothing for granted. 

Pretend you have no habits and see how long you can get away with it. Act as if you have never met yourself but have always wanted to. Forget everything you ever knew about how you respond to life. Take yourself in for the first time. Experience being-ness from a place of wonder, and exploration. Be a novice to your own existence. Chances are you'll discover that there is more to you than you were previously allowing, and more to life than you had yet been willing to allow.

Try it for a day and you will change your thinking about yourself. Practice it everyday and you will change your life.

Ω

Be well.

*

Want to turn up your experience of ecstasy in life? Pretend you are an alien trying everything on Earth for the first time. Allow yourself the richness of every sensation in all of your experiences. Be open to everything as a sublime gift. 

Today, You are a New You

What are you bringing into your life today? What are you drawing toward you with your focus, intention, and emotional state? What are you creating in your immediate future?

Everyday, we are building our stories. Everyday, we are attracting and manifesting the things we focus on, and intend, and feel. Everyday, whether we want to or not, whether we believe it or not, whether we make an effort to do so or let it happen passively, we are creating our lives.

The present we are experiencing today is the result of what we have been making up to this point. Everything you see in your world is the result of your focus and intention in all the days before now. Most likely you have (as most of us) spent the majority of your life in ignorance of this fact, and therefore, have witnessed a lot of your life with wonder and confusion, not realizing from where it has all come.

But today?  Today you know what you are bringing toward you. (And if not, then I am here to tell you.) Today you are being given the opportunity to focus on, intend, and delight in realizing the life you know is right for you. 

It exists already inside you. You feel it and know it as if it were your own hand. You always have.  

You've just been too afraid to believe it.You've just been duped by the naysayers preaching into your ear since you were born. You've just been deceived about who and what you are, and what you are capable of doing, and how life works. You've been lied to. And now, today, you are in the right place and time to say, "No more lies."

You can be who you are now. You can do what you dream now. You can have your life now. You simply have to believe it. And know it. And feel it in your bones that you are your most magnificent you. You are the creator of your life. 

When you believe that – as a beyond-any-shadow-of-a-doubt belief – then, and only then, will you begin to see it. Look where you are and realize that it is all the result of what you have believed until now. And recognize that if you want to see something different, you will have to change what you believe. 

Today is when you begin to believe in what you will see next. SO get busy, you've got some focussing, and intending, and feeling good about your life that you've got to get to. Your time is now!

Ω

Be well.